The countdown has begun — by the time you read this, there will only be “four shopping days left before Christmas.” Maybe you are one of those lucky people who not only have your shopping all done, but all the gifts wrapped under the tree and nothing left to do but sip hot cocoa and enjoy visiting with family and friends.

Whatever!

Or maybe you’re one of those people who “refuse to give in to the commercialism of the holiday and therefore there will be no gift giving.” (Yeah, right — what a copout!)



I do not fit either of the above categories. I am a Real Person — which means that as of this writing (with 8 days before Christmas) I am still writing Christmas cards and they are looming over my every waking moment saying “You’re late, you’re late, for a very important date!”

I have gifts to wrap and pack and mail and they are also whispering from their plastic store bags, “Hurry, hurry you’re missing deadlines!”

I have cookies to bake and fudge to make and decorations to fix from last week’s windstorm. Heck, I don’t even have my ‘to do’ lists done.



A lot of my shopping is done, though. There are a few more gifts to search out. Some of my gift giving is easy — for my sons either gift cards, some candles, some practical gifts and some fun gifts. For the young great-nieces and nephews that I don’t have to buy for but love to buy for, I usually choose books.



I like to give gifts that have some meaning to the recipients — either something they collect or like or something that will remind them of a shared memory. Sometimes that creates a search for an elusive gift — one that I’m not sure what it is exactly, but I’ll know it when I see it. (I hope.) And that’s where I am in my shopping — the search for those elusive gifts is on with the clock running out.

Best gifts of all

Often the best gifts of all are those that cannot be purchased. Those are the gifts to others of lending a helping hand, a listening ear, a lift up when one is in trouble and an encouraging word. Those are the gifts that are given all year long and are often remembered much longer than the ones found wrapped in pretty paper.

We just lost two people who had those gifts and shared them in abundance to everyone they met. The first was Francis “Sid” Gardner of Goshen. Sid was such an encourager for me. He was a man that served his country in World War II, who served his community in many ways over the years, who served his family and his church. Sid and his wife Katherine welcomed me into their church family years ago and I am blessed to have been included in that circle. Our pastor said at his eulogy, “Everybody needs a Sid” and those of us fortunate enough to have Sid in our lives knew exactly what he meant.



For me, every time Sid saw me he had an encouraging word. “Loved your article” he’d say and mention whatever paper he’d recently read an article of mine in. “Keep up the great work, kiddo!” he’d say another time or “Loved your column, you are so right — great job!”

And every time, whether he knew it or not, he was giving me a precious gift.



And this past week we lost another great gift giver — Joan Andrews of Nappanee. Joan also lived her life to serve others and gave that gift freely to one and all. She made it her life’s work. I spoke to a woman I knew 20 years ago that shared with me how Joan and her husband Larry held her hand through escaping an abusive marriage — took her in, helped her get a job and most importantly to this woman, listened and held her hand on a day to day basis.

Joan also gave me the gift of encouragement. She’d call me about something upcoming at Family Christian Development Center, which she founded, and trusted I would do a good job telling the stories of her ministry. She’d always tell me afterwards how much she loved the articles I wrote, how in-depth they were, how I truly “got it right.”



The last time I saw Joan she greeted me as a long lost friend with hugs and kisses despite the face mask she wore to protect her from infections. We talked and shared and got caught up with each other and it was a joy to watch her interact with her children and grandchildren. I will treasure that memory of seeing her that day and being greeted with so much love and warmth.

These are the gifts that we should be most concerned with giving. To be a “Sid” to everyone we meet; to live our lives so that we always say as Joan did, “that’s doable”.



This Christmas, though I know I’m still going to run around till the last minute trying to do this or that, I pray that I can live up to the example given me by Sid and Joan and remember the gifts that truly matter — the gifts they gave to me — and pay it forward.

Denise Fedorow is a columnist and correspondent with The Goshen News. Her column, Not That You Asked, But appears every other week. She did not mean to offend the Martha and Jimmy Stewarts of the area and she wants to wish all of her readers a very blessed Christmas and the gift of appreciation for being News readers.