Goshen News, Goshen, IN

Breaking News

Movie Reviews

July 2, 2007

Just say ‘I don’t’ to the lame, painfully strained ‘License to Wed’

Here’s how bad “License to Wed” is: Even the outtakes at the end are lame.

It’s exactly what it looks like from the commercials — a one-joke movie, and that one joke isn’t even funny to begin with.

Robin Williams is constantly straining as Reverend Frank, the minister from hell who forces the newly engaged Ben (John Krasinski) and Sadie (Mandy Moore) to undergo a sadistic marriage prep course before they can say “I do.”

You’ll wish you’d said: “I don’t.”

As in the similarly desperate “The Ex” and “You, Me & Dupree,” Ben is the only one who recognizes that Reverend Frank’s methods are suspect; everyone else thinks he’s great. This conceit grows old, like, immediately.

It is refreshing, though, to see a new face in Krasinski as the straight man in one of these wacky romantic comedies. The co-star of TV’s “The Office” has unconventional good looks and an easy likability about him; more importantly, he’s not Ben Stiller or Luke Wilson or someone else you’ve seen a thousand times before.

But this is the second flat, shrill chick flick Moore has starred in this year, following “Because I Said So.” We know from movies like “American Dreamz” and “Saved!” that there’s more to her than her pretty, pop-star past would suggest. She just needs to choose roles that let her prove that. Meanwhile, Wanda Sykes, Bob Balaban and Grace Zabriskie are squandered here in bit parts.

So here’s the story, which bafflingly took four writers to concoct: Ben and Sadie meet awkwardly in line at Starbucks, fall in love and move in together. When he asks her to marry him — in front of everyone at her wealthy parents’ 30th wedding anniversary party, which is also awkward — she says yes, but tells him it’s been her lifelong dream to be wed at her family’s church.

That’s where Reverend Frank rules absolutely, with wannabe hipster slang tossed into his sermons and corny rhymes to teach the Ten Commandments (“Be chill, don’t kill”). And before he’ll marry any couple, he makes them pass his bizarrely intensive course, which he administers with his obnoxious, pint-sized choir boy sidekick (Josh Flitter, Shia LaBeouf’s precocious caddy in “The Greatest Game Ever Played”).

And so Ben and Sadie can’t have sex before the wedding, which Frank monitors by bugging their apartment, then eavesdropping on them in the back of a van with the choir boy in tow, which is just wrong. They have to argue with each other in an uncomfortable role-playing exercise. Ben is forced to try belly dancing as part of his group couples therapy — it’s just one contrived situation after another.

The only vaguely amusing example comes when they have to practice parenting with a couple of robot babies that look like mini Lex Luthors — but even then, director Ken Kwapis can’t help but go for the obvious gross-out joke by having one of the babies pee all over Ben and poop out a substance that looks like blue cake frosting.

Kwapis has also directed episodes of “The Office,” and he actually showed a surprisingly deft hand at potentially painful material with his adaptation of “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.” Sitting through that movie again would be preferable, even for guys — at least the characters felt like real people.

“License to Wed,” a Warner Bros. Pictures release, is rated PG-13 for sexual humor and language. Running time: 86 minutes. One and a half stars out of four.

———

Motion Picture Association of America rating definitions:

G — General audiences. All ages admitted.

PG — Parental guidance suggested. Some material may not be suitable for children.

PG-13 — Special parental guidance strongly suggested for children under 13. Some material may be inappropriate for young children.

R — Restricted. Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian.

NC-17 — No one under 17 admitted.

Text Only
Movie Reviews
  • ‘Goats’ has fuzzy vision A fun tone is undermined by disjointed storytelling in George Clooney’s “The Men Who Stare at Goats,” and it all starts with the disclaimer that opens the movie: “More of this is true than what you might imagine.”

    November 11, 2009

  • images_sizedimage_289100122 Supernatural success LOS ANGELES — The critics have spoken. Here’s what more than a few have to say:

    “Scariest movie of the decade.”

    October 16, 2009 1 Photo 1 Link

  • ‘Getaway’ imperfect but fun “A Perfect Getaway” is essentially one big red herring, flopping around on an idyllic Hawaiian beach, desperately trying to call attention to itself.

    August 7, 2009

  • images_sizedimage_217100540 ‘G.I. Joe’ show no go LOS ANGELES — It’s the biggest movie of the summer that practically no one has seen.

    August 5, 2009 1 Photo

  • ‘Transformers’ noisy, nonsensical A joyless cacophony, an insistent and seemingly endless onslaught, “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen,” director Michael Bay’s follow-up to the 2007 smash “Transformers” plays more like a parody of a Bay movie.

    June 26, 2009

  • images_sizedimage_171150006 ‘Proposal’ says yes to cliches All the romantic comedy conventions are shamelessly on parade in “The Proposal,” trampling on our brains and turning them into mush.

    June 20, 2009 1 Photo

  • ‘Imagine That’ a solid comedy The words “Eddie Murphy family comedy” are enough to send shivers down the spine of any self-respecting film lover.

    June 12, 2009

  • images_sizedimage_162104417 ‘Pelham’ an overcaffeinated thriller The way the original 1974 film’s title has been condensed tells you everything you need to know about the direction “The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3” is headed. In these fast-paced, mixed-up times, it simply takes too long to spell out the numbers.

    June 11, 2009 1 Photo

  • This movie in ‘Ruins’ LOS ANGELES — As we learn from “My Life in Ruins,” the Greek word for mojo — or zest for life — is “kefi.” Nia Vardalos’ character has lost hers and needs to get it back.

    June 10, 2009

  • This movie is not a ‘Drag’ The name alone, “Drag Me to Hell,” tells you exactly what this is: an unabashed celebration of B-movie schlockery. But the dichotomies director Sam Raimi presents within that familiar genre are what make this such a kick.

    May 29, 2009

Parade
Magazine

Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.
Community Calendar
Loading…
Events by eviesays.com
AP Video
Recording Superstar Whitney Houston Dead at 48 Maine GOP Chairman Says Romney Wins Caucuses Palin Brings Anti-Washington Message to CPAC Obama Scraps Birth Control Mandate US Airmen's Killer Sentenced to Life in Germany Navy Names Ship for Gabrielle Giffords Raw Video: Deadly Blasts in Syria Romney Slams President Obama at CPAC Gingrich: Pres. Obama 'waging War on Religion' 5 Killed in Wrong-way Crash on I-10 in La. Uzbek Man Pleads Guilty in Plot to Kill Obama Denver's Largest-Ever Drug Bust Nets Dozens Marines: No Punishment for Nazi-like Flag Vets Look to Translate Military Skills Into Jobs Raw Video: School Bus Burst Into Flames LA School Reopens Amid Sex Abuse Scandal $25B Settlement Reached Over Foreclosure Abuses Pentagon: Allow Women Closer to Front Lines LA School in Sex Abuse Scandal Reopens Raw Video: Italy's Mount Etna Bursts Into Life
Poll

The Goshen Housing Authority has a $571,050 shortfall. Should the Goshen City Council use money from its $4.7-million “rainy day” fund to pay the debt and maintain the current level of service provided by the voucher program?

Yes, the Council should allocate all the money owed
No, the Council should not allocate any money
The Council should pay what cannot be raised privately
     View Results